Illuminating the sight within

I sense a hole in my vision.

I fear that I am retreading already walked upon ground.
The Professional wobble of moving forward because I have passion, yet without the practical grounding of "confident" foundations.

I have boat loads of resistance, and yet when I move in that direction it only feels *wrong* logically.

I feel like I am missing a *piece*. The deep voices in my head which control the subconscious image of self.

What in the world?
I step back into my Professional offerings, yet can hear the internal fears screaming.
Fear of Failure.
Fear of not being supported.
Fear of putting myself out there and being rejected.

The deep wounds of my past *haunt* me.
Why can't I shake them?

Why have they not been cleared yet?

I feel frusterated as I have been working on this for 2 years now.
WTF God?

Why do we feel this way again?
Have we made no progress?

I feel this familiar sinking feeling.
I notice myself judging me...self flaggilation is known.
A different view, yet I can still feel the *hole* in me. I can still feel where I have emotional ghosts creating in my subconscious. FUCK!

I shall love this.
I shall love the fuck out of you hole. I shall love your efforts to become known. I shall love the cries for compassion and soothing.
I shall love YOU.

I love you Kris...I love your self reflection. I love you ability to feel yourself.
...
I felt a hole in my Soul container. A sucking of parts of me away. It felt like another time. Something feeding on my ability to support myself. Something feeding on my life force.

*BE GONE* I close all portals. I cancel all contracts. I reclaim my internal power.
I cancel all contracts. I cancel all contracts. Be done. Be gone.
I release you. I release you. I claim myself. I CLAIM MY SELF.
I CLAIM MY OWN ENERGY.  You can no longer have it.

I claim my creative energy. I claim my inspiration. I claim my creativity.